How to handle the fear of being seen
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I’ve spoken a lot in the past about fear and how it affects our businesses… specifically the fear of being seen. (I even have a whole course around that!) That’s one of the biggest fears I’ve been working with in my life since … forever. The important thing to remember is that the fear of being seen (or anything else, probably?) can be remedied. I hesitate to say “overcome”, even though, technically we are overcoming it with every step we take. I’ve also spoken about how having trauma or even negative experiences in the past when we were being visible affects us today. This can look like being made fun of in our third grade classroom, or having a major flub when giving a speech in college, or hearing personal attacks in the form of criticism from parents or caregivers. It could also look like not being acknowledged or being seen and heard growing up. Many folks I work with have this type of fear of being seen. And underlying that fear is the fear of being judged, criticized, and even attacked. Some say that this fear of being seen is also a “witch wound” of types, an energetic imprint passed on through generations from collective trauma of witch trials and other historical events where being visible, powerful, or “too much” was literally life-threatening. But wherever it comes from and however it shows up, it is REAL. and it can affect us in our businesses. Then you layer on the fear of being perceived as “salesy”, along with the fear of saying something wrong, and the distaste of marketing itself…And suddenly we have a whole laundry list of reasons NOT to show up! And of course, if we’re never willing to show up and do the work of promoting ourselves and marketing ourselves, it will be hard to grow… so we are in essence, stunting our own growth when we don't deal with this fear. So what is the answer? To just push through and do it anyway? No. And that is rarely the answer, in my experience. Instead, the answer is to lean into it ever so slightly, while supporting yourself in the process, and taking the babyiest of baby steps. Because when you take a baby step (which is uncomfortable but small enough for you to take), you feel accomplished. And when that baby step does not kill you, you feel more confident. And when you feel more confident, you can take the next baby step, and so on and so forth, until you have taken enough baby steps to constitute a big step. This is how growth happens. It happens incrementally. And this is actually the safest way TO grow. Because if you think about going from being paralyzed by the fear to speaking on a stage of a Tedx event… that’s going to be too overwhelming for your nervous system. So don’t worry so much about “overcoming” the fear of being seen. Focus on taking the next baby step you can take. Even if it’s as small as telling a person you know about your business. Or commenting on a post with your real opinion. Or if you're past that, applying to speak at that summit or on that podcast you like. By taking the step, you’re actively addressing the fear of being seen. You’re building your confidence muscle so that soon enough, your confidence is stronger than your fear. To showing up, P.S. Does fear of being seen affect you in your business? Reply and let me know... I have a resource for you! |